


Sleep Nevermore

by Toxic_Panic



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Experimental Style, F/F, F/M, Multi, No Incest, Polyamory, Reader-Insert, Self-Insert, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-10-03 14:40:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17286005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toxic_Panic/pseuds/Toxic_Panic
Summary: "my name ...who am i?... why can't i..remember?"Awake and lost, you gradually find your way... with a little help of course----------------------------I'm not entirely sure where i'm going with this, its more of an experiment and i'm not sure how long i'll continue this for but i'm giving it a go.-----------------------------THIS FIC IS ABANDONED as of 22.02.19Read chapter 7 if you want to find out why.There will be no more additions to this story.





	1. Prologue: Part I

I'm ... my name -  what is it? My name is -  my name ... who ... who am i? No, i remember, i am 

i am 

_**???** _

... why can't i remember?


	2. Prologue: Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wake up Sleeping Beauty

Lightly caressed, suspended in inky darkness, the burning of starved lungs awakens her. The soft swish and sound only associated with being submerged fills her ears, her eyelashes peel open with the weight of seemingly thousands of years of sleep. 

_" you're awake? "_

_" so soon? "_

Her head strains to make out the muffled and dampened words spoken- but by who? 

_" will she remember? "_

_" ...no "_

The heavy covers of unconsciousness still drape over her mind, but she's pushing against them, harder now with the desire to know, to learn, to understand. Fear of the disembodied voices doesn't even skim her awareness, all she now focuses on is waking up. 

Who knew it could ever be this hard? 

_" what do we tell her? "_

_" the truth "_

_" the truth? "_

_" she deserves to know "_

And know she will if she has any say in it- she vehemently thinks to herself, train of thought now driving its focus to her limbs. 

Breifly, she ponders if she can use them, but her body answers that for her with a foot kicking out from underneath. And she does it again, and again but more determindly this time; and again with both feet, forcing her legs to move; and again but this time throwing her arms outwards as if attempting to gain a hold of something. 

_" will she be the same? "_

_" ...maybe "_

_" ... "_

Kicking with purpose and waving about frantically, she climbs and rises up, 

up and up 

      and up 

        and up 

             and 

_" there you are "_

Bursting through the surface, she gasps before anything else, oxygen never having tasted better and the feel of the air on her skin reminiscent of a long missed friend. Hair cascades down her face, veiling her vision and she reaches out blindly for- a hand? 

She takes it. 

And again she's rising but now there's something solid beneath her feet and a warm hand grasped in hers, guiding her away from the water. 

Abruptly, she stops and gently slides her hand out of theirs, reaching instead towards her face, lifting the curtain and then she sees-  

_" welcome back, friend"_


	3. ...Who Are You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too many questions and too little answers...for now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aware things are very confusing at the moment, especially the previous chapter, but I hope to clear it up with each new addition:) thanks for reading btw<3

_"  welcome back, friend "_

 

Staring up dumbfounded at the largest man ever, I'm struck by adrenaline-induced fear over his ominous greeting. However, despite his intense gaze and his intimidating stature, a breeze of calm extinguishes my sudden panic like a candle flame gone out.

He looks...familiar? A sense of safety arose from my previous pinch of alarm. I straighten out my tense posture and look him directly in the eyes and am struck by the presence of only one- blue, i notice, almost too blue and overwhelmingly kind. I open my mouth but nothing comes out after a moment of thought; thousands of questions plague my mind, none standing out more than the other, forcing me into a state of speechlessness. His patient expression melts into one of understanding and a faint tinge of...pity? Nevertheless, he saw my struggle and offered his hand again, encouraging me to follow his lead.

Carefully, i reach for him and take his offer, meanwhile noticing there was more than a two person audience in the room. It wasn't even a room either, it seemed to be a hollowed out underground lagoon, the water behind me projecting dazzling aqua-blue reflections on the porous cave walls. These rippling reflections highlighted the face of the additional person, the sharp contours of his face creating a threatening impression. Another thing I couldn't help but notice was his towering yet lithe build, less stocky than the kind-eyed man holding my hand but no less powerful nor intimidating. His eyes seemed cat-like in the limited light, shining a distinct green with a feline's typical mischievious essence imprinted in his gaze.

To say i was intrigued would be an understatement.

 

...

 

The larger man had led us outside of the arcane cavern and into the most glorious garden I had ever layed my eyes on, the word oasis slipping into my mind and a soft gasp escaping my lips due to its undeniable beauty.

Names had been given on the short walk here, even my own, but the memory of such happening is evading me and I can no longer remember who they are nor myself. Frustration creeps into my head, my jaw tightening ever so slightly while a noticeable drop of hopelessness lands itself in my chest.

A deep murmur of a name is spoken, drawing my sorrowful eyes from their spot on the ground and up to the speaker. A concerned cerulean eye catches mine, and he speaks the same name again now he has my attention.

"You forgot," he adds on, "didn't you?"

He places a comforting hand on my shoulder after gaining sight of my ashamed expression. Averting my eyes again, I look towards the sky, searching for a different kind of blue to focus on. I test out the name he mentioned; it felt a little weird on my tongue but I say it again, more confidently, and this time I decide it fits just right.

A pat resonates on my shoulder, a friendly gesture but packed with strength nonetheless, and I look to him to see a smile grace his features. A sense of pride rises up with the knowledge that I had been the cause of that smile, but a stronger, more potent feeling of confusion tags along as I question why I'm happy I made him smile. It's not like I know him? Right? Unbeknownst to me, my eyebrows start to crease with the stress of my internal battle but no one else is oblivious to it.

Suddenly, once again, I am led by the strong man, the darker one following at a leisurely pace beside me. We don't venture far, as we stop before an intricately designed bench built into the greenery, gold laced into its many groves and patterns reminiscent of viking knotwork decorates its sides and rests. Sitting down between them, there's still plenty of room along the bench allowing all of our personal bubbles to be respected. The two of them share a complex look together, as if they were discussing something, but it's over as soon as it started and the friendlier man angles himself towards me more.

Then the talking began.

 

....

 

_"I'm Thor"_

_" and I'm Loki"_


	4. Enchanted Waters & Idunn's Apples

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> History 101 with our resident Norse Gods

_“ I’m Thor ”_

_“ and I’m Loki ”_

 

They both pause momentarily to allow me to digest this sparse information, possibly in the hopes of it sticking better than it did last time. Mulling over the names in my head, I recognise there to be a hint of familiarity, but it promptly escapes me how… my mind relays blank explanations that do nothing to remedy my building bewilderment, the lack of my own understanding leaving me increasingly disorientated and infuriated. However, before I can indulge more into my vexed state of mind, they continue speaking.

“We are…Gods, as the humans would say,” Thor’s gruff voice rumbles out each syllable like the beginning of a thunderstorm, and I can’t help but find my comparison ironic for some reason, “Gods of the realm known as Asgard, with the humans belonging to Midgard, and I… am the King of my people.”

The uncomfortable feeling of inferiority started creeping into my posture and attitude- these people were royalty! _Divine_ royalty no less! While an incredibly cool discovery, I’m infinitely more perplexed as to why _literal celestial nobility_ is sitting with me on a bench in the middle of a seemingly enchanted orchard, like I’m nothing compared to them, I’m just some gir- an amused chuckle resounded behind me, knocking me out of my internal self-depreciating rant.

Loki calls out to Thor tauntingly, but the word brother has heavily-veiled affection behind it that one could barely pick up on, “- didn’t I say explaining slowly would be better for her? Now look what you’ve done, she’s already prepared to faint by the look on her face,” another, smaller sound of amusement left Loki as he mockingly scolded Thor’s brash introduction on Gods, royalty and realms. Unlike Thor’s rugged tone, a soft accent accompanied his brother’s- British came to mind although I’m not sure what British _is_ \- and it flowed much smoother yet it sounded almost tainted with something, as if every word uttered had a double meaning, entailing something sinister or perhaps wicked. Yes, wicked suited him quite fittingly, worryingly so…

“You said to tell her the truth, so that’s exactly what I’m doing,” Thor defends in a prickly tone.

“I didn’t say to send her into a panicked state and give her an existential crisis.”

“Wha- I have not!”

“Yes you have.”

“No I have not!”

“Have.”

“Not!”

“Hav- ”

“Shut up! The both of you!”

Exasperated, I interrupted their travesty of a conversation, something they clearly didn’t expect and had them pause in silence. I felt like I had just scolded two toddlers, a completely ridiculous and absurd notion considering they’re Gods… or at least meant to be. Thor looked taken aback and slightly ashamed for letting Loki get a rise out of him, and the latter just looked smug as hell. Fed up, I roll my eyes harder than intended to all the while getting up off the bench, taking a stance in front of the two confusing men. Eyes narrowed and arms crossed before my chest, I pointedly switch my gaze between them both as I grit out my next words.

“Okay, I’m only going to say this once and if I have to repeat myself, I swear on my life I’m going to make you regret it, but I’m not sure if you’ve noticed I-” now pointing a finger to my chest as I exclaim, “- have no memory! Nothing! Nada! And I’m relying _completely_ on you two, _oh dear Gods Thor and Loki_ , to fill in the gaps in my head! Now, _if you do not mind_ , I would desperately like it if you stopped being twats and, actually, helped me!”

Standing there in a semi-fuming state, I glare imploringly at them after my explosion. Unexpectedly, Loki lets out a gentle sigh instead of laughing at my display, losing his playful composure and actually gaining a serious expression, making his face look cold and hard. Both me and Thor focus on him as he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and hands clasped in front, darting his gaze towards mine and holding it there almost uncomfortably. I refuse to let him get to me though, so I hold his stare unblinkingly, moulding my face into something neutral to match his air of solemnity.

“...you’re right,” he states clearly, with surprising sincerity, mentioning my name in a personal tone, “We haven’t been considerate enough about your...situation. It’s unacceptable, especially since it’s one we caused.”

…

_They_ did this? They took my memory?! Why!?

Loki says my name harsher this time, a stonier look entering his eyes, hesitating only slightly before his next words.

“You died.”

He said it with such finality, resigned to this supposed fact, as if he came to terms with it eons ago… had he? He takes a short breath before continuing-

“…You died, back on Midgard. Humans would say it was quite a time ago, but for us it may have as well been last week. Feels like it was, anyway.”

He ends every sentence like he’s biting every word out, as if he’d rather not say them at all...I decide to carefully lower my arms and stay silent, indicating for him to continue. After this short moment, he does.

“Your death was…no, it wasn’t sudden, too much had led up to that moment for it to be random,” he scoffs, averting his gaze to the side and back at the thought of it, “Nonetheless, you died, and in doing so you saved countless others, unknowingly to humanity. You were considered an unsung hero of an invisible war on Earth, only whispers of what happened remain on Midgardian soil.”

I was trying desperately to keep up with him, but I couldn’t help but stay stuck on the term ‘hero’… who the hell was I? And who the hell was I to him and Thor?

“But we know what happened. We were there, and we fought together…we were also friends, ironically,” he doesn’t change his expression, but I could hear the hint of a smile in his tone, “You always used to poke fun at that, oh how a chaos God of trickery and lies befriended the most dysfunctional human ever…” I almost didn’t see his invisible smile fade away on the word human. He clears his throat subtly, carrying on-

“Well, you were human anyway.”

I’m caught off-guard now, more so than before- what does he mean I _was_ human?

Thor saw this as the prompt time to pick up from Loki’s account of my past.

“Yggdrasill, the world tree upholding and interlinking all nine realms, has three wells residing below its roots; one of wisdom, one of fate, the other a home to a monster,” his voice took upon a storytelling nature, enrapturing my attention, “These wells rarely share their waters, yet a scarce few realms have discovered sacred divine pools belonging to them scattered across the cosmos. Such pools are protected by obscure and complex seiðr, for they possess extraordinary abilities…abilities such as resurrection.”

Thor stops, letting what he said sink in, and my heart rate picks up even more than it already has. That cannot be possible, what he’s proposing is- it- it’s preposterous!

...But so is everything they’ve told me. It’s hurting my head trying to decide what is less believable than the other, it’s practically impossible, and I’m not sure whether to give up and just lose my bias against their absurd statements…Thor doesn’t give me time to decide though.

“Coupled with a golden apple hand-picked by the Goddess Idunn, the waters can give life to a new God,” he finalises, staring intently at me after dropping the last bombshell.

I can only imagine the expression on my face, a direct reflection of the turmoil curling itself horribly in my stomach and giving me the beginnings of a migraine. My legs feel weak suddenly, and I doubt their ability to keep me standing much longer and reach for the bench. I place myself down unceremoniously, holding a knee up to my chest, not quite taking the foetal position but visibly halfway there. Shock grips me, so much so I nearly don’t process the cautious hand hovering over my shoulder. I look up briskly, trying to put on a less panicked façade in an attempt of reassurance on their part (and possibly my own...) but the gaze I’m met with shatters it instantly. Thor says nothing as he makes to seem as open as possible, a subtle invitation, and I throw all cares to the wind as I launch myself into it. A quick observation shows his hugs to be like one would imagine clutching onto a grizzly, except he was gentle with his strength and instead encouraged me to hold on the tightest, and by god I did. His sincere aura of kindness and his solid frame was the only thing grounding me in that moment when all my mind wanted to do was split under all the new knowledge I’d learnt.

Gods...divinity…death…

I let out a shaky breath and burrow my head further into Thor’s chest.


	5. Asgard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The city of Gods never looked prettier

…

 

Gold.

Just, gold- everywhere.

One imagines a realm of the Gods to be awe-inspiring and extraordinary, of course, but I never anticipated _this much gold_.

It painted the bench in the shrubbery as much as it intertwined into impressive sculptures and all standing structures, the very paths and roads leading to the godly city paved with the prized element. It dripped seemingly from the leaves of grand trees towering over everything in their vicinity, ancient and primordial like the Greek Gods of old. The sky itself might as well have been raining tears of the stuff but, alas, even that is a step too far for the divine.

The palace, though- _oh the palace_ \- is a thing to behold. Initially, I believed the trees to be large, but the royal palace dwarfed them, its colossal stature effortlessly filling the horizon and over-watching the entire realm from its snug position at the center of Asgard. Numerous and monumental pillar-like structures forge the outer image of the castle, reaching the heavens and becoming a centrepiece to the world’s skyline; all of it solid gold.

It also seemed the people were too.

Tanned and rich tones filled the streets of the lively city, people of varying shades looking like each had been personally kissed by the sun. Most, if not all, were tall and had a fiery glow about them, whereas the obviously shorter ones had youthful eyes and an addiction to trouble. Gold adorned their fabrics, but only to be heavily contrasted or complimented with another assortment of chosen dyes, leaving highlights of the original shade to mirror their surroundings. The collective stack of conversation on top of conversation raised the noise level to a roar, but unlike the lion’s harsh and gravelly call it was more of a rumble with the consistence of honey.

To myself I briefly wondered why everybody I observed looked nothing alike the dark-haired prince beside me.

 

 

…

 

 

Our gradual passage through Asgard had us nearing the legendary “rainbow bridge” of myth, a remarkable structure named the Bifrost. Once I’d reached the threshold of land to bridge, only then could I finally appreciate it in its full form…breath-taking couldn’t even cover it. Pulses of colour raced underneath our feet as we began our crossing, the resounding bounding of our footwear echoed loudly in my ears with the walkway seeming to stretch for miles out into the clearest sea I’d ever seen. Spotted at the end, I saw our destination, an imposing observatory sat at the edge of the world.

 

 

…

 

 

Upon our arrival, Thor had greeted the hulking man adorned in- again- gold armour, the latter having stayed unmoving from his post beside the most gorgeous sword which was impaled in a pedestal erected at the centre of the room. I had elected to remain near Loki, for despite my ever-growing adoration for the realm and its beautiful looks, cautious anxiety refuses to unfurl itself in my stomach from being in an alien environment. My two companions were the only people I’ve felt familiar with in this very unfamiliar world, so abandoning them currently was out of the question.

So here I still stand, as Thor continues to speak with the sword-keeper about several matters in the meantime.

I can almost _hear_ the harsh eyeroll coming from Loki as he radiates unabashed annoyance at Thor’s absentmindedness. For his sake (and my own), I force a subtle cough to gain the Godly King’s attention but it falls on deaf ears, to my slight dismay, although the swordsman does spare a quick glance in our direction. Before I can attempt again, Loki’s impatience pulls through as he lets out a loud scoff achieving the sole goal of interrupting the conversation Thor was leading. The dirty blonde darts a quick glare at his brother, before rounding on the keeper again, this time with a different conversation topic in mind.

Gesturing to us, implying that we gather closer to them, Thor casually mentions my name to the mystery man, as if the other guy knows me well…does he? I wouldn’t be surprised with how this day has gone so far.

“I introduce to you, Heimdall,” Thor states, addressing me, “Gatekeeper of the Bifrost and Overseer of the Cosmos.”

…well, _that_ is certainly a title. ‘Overseer of the Cosmos’? Being some sort of guardian of the Bifrost is understandable, but the latter part of the title is comparatively implausible. But, as I keep having to remind myself, so is everything right now.

Heimdall looks at me almost…disinterestedly, as if he already knew (what, I don’t know) and wasn’t fazed in the least. He appeared to be gazing right through me, those rich amber eyes seeming more unfocused the more I look at them, as if he had his eye on other things. It was unnerving, honestly.

“Welcome to the home of the Gods,” he nods at me, his powerful voice carrying each word with ease. I tilt my mouth in a pleasant smile in response, acknowledging his greeting without voicing my own. Thor turns to me now, making to direct the conversation again.

“I’m aware our explanation back in the grove left…gaps, you could say, in your story and was a lot to absorb after being awake for only so short a time, so we have travelled here instead for I’ve realised now words may not be the appropriate method of revealing your past.”

Mild confusion dawns on my face at his words and his supposed desire for the lack of them. How else will I learn? If he’s afraid of freaking me out again, that’s going to be inevitable at this rate and I’d rather he’d just get it done and over with now. So what if I have an[other] existential crisis on a foreign world that I’ve apparently joined the race of Gods on after being reborn, it happens and is a perfectly normal reaction to such news!

Loki reassures me with a “You’ll see” after gaining sight of my reaction, taking his place beside Thor as Heimdall turns towards the impaled sword. I look to Thor for an explanation but all I’m given back is a look of assurance and an encouraging smile. Wow, thanks.

Heimdall’s movements distract me from my glare at the brothers, as he takes the hilt of the sword and twists it with practiced ease. The distinct sound of a key unlocking a lock reaches everyone’s ears, and then…

_Everything starts to move._

 

 

…

 

 

_“Fuck I feel sick”_


	6. Author's Note

Lately things havent been A-okay with my head so thats why theres been a delay in updates and you may not get another chapter til the end of this week (plus im a student and just busy in general ugh)

Just thought any readers who r gonna stick by should know, and also new readers are aware :) 

EDIT 21/01/19: 

Okay i seem to have lied about another one at the end of the week, my head is still not working and some things have popped up in my personal life so it seems im gonna have a lil break from this atm bUT I HAVE NOT ABANDONED THIS JUST MAKING THIS CLEAR 

'kay PSA over :) 


	7. Okay, I Lied (UPDATE)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I kinda said I would continue this fic once I feel better..... ugh i'm sorry

Okay, so, update: 

I'm still not okay, kind of actually worse, and I also came to the realisation I can't actually experience romantic attraction and all these factors are gonna influence why I cannot continue this story 

1) i am not well enough to continue it

2) finals pressure is starting to settle in and school isn't making it any better, i never have free time anymore 

& 3) i can't write this story as a reader ship fic, i myself cannot imagine relationships and romantic love which is therefore going to affect my ability to write about them, plus it makes me uncomfortable

This is probably going to disappoint a few people, and I apologise but I physically cannot finish this story :( 

I would like to thank all of those who read Sleep Nevermore up until this point, though, I really appreciate it <3


End file.
